Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The Good Wife

Wake up in the morning; drowsily pick up phone and WHAT?! 8 messages??

Rubbing eyes opens the messages.....

T234509 is interested in your profile say yes to communicate further!

Hi, I sent you a personalized message

Hi Bharathi , T879578 may be interested in you as he visited your Profile. Take the next step and Connect with him!

                                                Blah blah blah.....

Putting phone down and I go about my normal day.

From past few days my phone is being fed with these kinds of messages as I have crossed the threshold age of an Indian woman. My parents, friends, relatives and well-wishers are trying to marry me off. I am spending more time on these matrimonial sites than on face book and twitter. And the result is exchanging mails, horoscopes and latest pictures.

The important thing in woman’s life is ‘Marriage’ and in our society marriage give the status of “Complete Woman” .Wherever I go someone or the other keep preaching me how essential marriage is for a happy, secure and stable life. I understand that and I am not against marriage.#To the people who think I don't understand

I keep reading the profiles of prospective grooms and their partner preferences. Many out there write looking for “Good Wife”. The point that I never understand  is how they define “Good Wife”. is it based on her beauty, education, hobbies, salary, family background etc etc?

Most of the grooms and their parents have predetermined parameters such as level of education and salary range, body type, skin color, height, weight etc that they expect the girl to fit into. 

Recently I sent an interest to one person whose parameters matched with mine. And his partner preference column is filled with “looking for Good Wife”. I thought I can be good wife and so I proceeded further. But sadly, he rejected my interest and said he is looking for a good wife who earns same  as him, should be jovial blah blah..... blah.

I laughed at that mail, how someone can judge a person as a good wife by looking at their profile which merely gives a picture and statistics? And the scary part is does girl’s salary is so important? Are the girls with less salary are unappealing?

Since then I was trying to find the definition of Good Wife and ended up writing this post.

Marriage according to me is a conscious decision to spend your life with someone who is compatible and you enjoy being around with them for the rest of your life. What does it have to do with a woman’s salary or any other variable that change over time? 

Finally, I want to say that the imaginary scenes we play in our heads are not realistic. Being good or bad depends on both man and woman. To have a good wife, you have to be able to communicate efficiently, be your partner’s best friend and maintain your own identity by respecting her thoughts & actions.

Perfect Good wife is not born; she has to be made out of your actions. So!! Dear Men,come out of the MYTH.

P.S: This is not my frustration, it is just a sharing... and a Question to find out the definition of Good wife 

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Break free

These days my life is on roller-coaster and I was taking important life decisions, at one point I questioned myself "What could be my life if I had absolutely no limits and what I would choose?" I felt I was stuck in life for various reasons, but I was not the reason behind it, but it was the belief system I have.

Every one of us has formed a belief system and we believe that we can’t break free from that and then get stuck in life many times. I felt I am addicted to that belief system and I can't break free from it, no matter how hard I try.

After long analysis I decided that it is always good to let go off thinking that no longer applies to my life and I changed it. The  mantras of my  new belief system are:
  • I don’t have to be perfect.
  • I am not placed here to please everyone.
  • I can pursue my dreams without fear.
  • I don’t have to stay in a job which I don’t like.
  • I don’t have to spend time with people who aren't healthy for me.
  • Stop bothering about what people talk about me
And..."Break free!!" Love yourself, Be nice to you, pamper yourself, take care of yourself. 

P.S: The post is boring, but I want to write  the flow of my thoughts and the things I wish to let go off :) Thanks for reading